The four types of love
The idea of founding a soulmate is throughout all popular culture. For example, the idea you could meet someone on a train and fall in love with them instantly.
Let’s remove those rose-tinted glasses that romanticize love and take a look at soulmates in a more scientific way to understand the chemistry of love.
Dr. Helen Fisher, who is a research professor of anthropology has studied human love for years, she’s made game-changing discoveries about who people are as lovers and the love they seek as a result.
4 Types of Love
She discovered four types of love the Explorer, the builder, the director, and the negotiator.
Explorers are dominant in dopamine builders are dominant in serotonin directors are dominant in testosterone, and negotiators are dominant in estrogen.
Based on our chemical makeup, it also shows in our personality, behavior characteristics, habits, and lifestyle preferences and choices.
Explorers are often associated with words like adventure, spontaneity, and fun. Because their chemical makeup is mainly dopamine, these people seek a companion in their lover.
They see life as one big great adventure and gift of nature and want someone to join them in it. They are highly impulsive and curious.
High dopamine levels in the explorers also influence to be motivated and goal-oriented because they are linked to enthusiasm, energy, focus goal-oriented, and assertiveness.
Explorers often tend to be attracted to other explorers or personalities like explorers. Well, that sounds easy enough when two explorers come together and sparks ignite with to bolt hearts on fire.
If they don’t learn what patience is down the road, it is common for the two explorers to get in a head-on collision. This can result in messy breakups.
Builders are often associated with words like family, honesty, empathy, and loyalty. Because their chemical makeup is mainly serotonin, these people seek a helpful lover. Serotonin generates caution because it suppresses levels of dopamine.
Therefore builders are cool, relaxed, social, steady, and family and community-oriented, and helping nature.
They are naturally networked, bond makers, and respect rules and authority in society.
Builders are practical and natural planners and like to schedule things ahead of time. They have an eye for detail and are linear in the way they do things in a step-by-step fashion.
Builders are often attracted to other builders. These couples are often the high school sweethearts you hear about who are still married 60 years later.
Well, that sounds idealistic that doesn’t mean builders don’t have their fair share of obstacles to overcome in their relationships.
For instance, because builders can be setting their rules, schedules, and traditions to builders may bicker over what they perceive as the right way of doing things.
Builders need to keep an open mind and learn the value of flexibility if they want their relationships to grow and evolve.
Directors are often linked with words like nerd ambition and challenge because their chemical makeup is mainly testosterone. These people always seek a mind mate in their lovers.
Directors are straightforward, tough-minded motivated, and decisive. They value logic. Therefore, when making decisions, they are not easily swayed and influenced by emotions.
Directors enjoy competition and are pragmatic, focused, and daring. They are also highly ambitious and can be so independent that they can come off as lone wolves.
Directors also have excellent spatial skills and musical and athletic ability too.
Directors rarely ever go for other directors. Instead, they go for their opposite partner, which is the negotiator.
This is because directors lack the verbal and people reading skills negotiators naturally possess that help attracts them to one another.
Although the director and negotiator mainly make a good pairing, problems and differences can still arise. Directors, for instance, have workaholic tendencies and may neglect to spend quality time with negotiators and their families and relative.
Negotiators types lover are often associated with words like kindness, empathy, ethnicity, and sensitivity. Because their hormonal and chemical makeup is predominantly estrogen, they seek a soulmate and their lover.
Negotiators have had the personality like philosophers out of the four types of love groups because their high estrogen level provides the strength for web thinking.
This helps them connect a vast array of ideas, concepts, and theories with one another as well as think naturally in an abstract manner, and provides them with a vivid imagination which makes them habitual daydreamers.
Negotiators are highly self-motivated and intuitive individuals who rely on their gut feelings often because they are natural feelers. However, negotiators may face problems in their relationships when they live on casual comments and criticisms.
They tend to take them personally and can cause them to hold grudges over the months or even years. Negotiators are also receptive to depression and anxiety, can overdo it when they constantly feel lost.
Always in the search of their soul themselves, they can also become overly self-absorbed, self-conscious, and self-critical over life.
Although these four types of love likely lure certain types of lovers over others. The harsh reality is that any love match can work so long as two people are mature enough to willing to compromise and cooperate each other’s differences
Despite the important research Dr. Helen Fisher conducted, we still know only a little bit about love. It is still such an enigmatic concept that cannot be fully explained even in the utmost scientific way because after all, people often end up falling in love with those people whom they least expect.
Ultimately, in relationships is about constantly choosing your partner over and over again, and kindness. If you find yourself in a disagreement with your partner as soon as possible, pick up the phone or drive over to their place swallow your pride and apologize. Ask yourself, is this worth losing someone over?
The harsh reality is that things are always fleeting, but the things we do have control over make those moments joyful. What are your thoughts about love in the four love types?