There are too many double standards things in relationships that can ruin a good relationship. Being aware of those things can help you avoid your relationship’s demise.
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Will we ever be able to rid the world of double standards in our relationships? Most probably not. But you can learn about them in a relationship and why they’re horrible to have – especially if you want your relationship to last a lifetime.
People aren’t blind to the fact that guys can do stuff girls can’t and vice versa. We’re usually privy to these toxicities in our relationship but we don’t often do anything about them. And those people who ignore them altogether usually don’t end up with a happily ever after.
If you’re complicit, you’re part of the complications
We can blame whatever we want when our relationship goes bad but if we aren’t pointing the finger at ourselves, we’re not doing ourselves any favours. Most of the time, issues in relationships can be traced back to double standards.
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It’s not good to argue over something that can be prevented in the first place. But not doing anything about them and being complicit means you’re contributing to the issues that will break up relationships.
What are the major double standards in our relationships?
To understand why you can’t have these things throwing a wrench in your relationship, we first have to know what they are. Who knows? Maybe we never knew these things were unhealthy, toxic double standards.
#1 Making fun of clothing choices
This is one we probably don’t even realize exists. The girl can criticize the guy’s style choices and think it’s all fun and games but the moment he does the same to her, it’s game over.
Firstly, that’s just unhealthy. We shouldn’t be putting each other down in the first place. But the thing is, we see this all the time and it’s toxic because he might be very hurt by it. And he can’t even make her how much it bothers him.
#2 Initiating the first moves
This is one of those double standards in our relationships that has been around for way too long. It’s known that men are supposed to make the first move. While this is slowly but surely dying, it surely should’ve been dead a long time ago.
#3 Using your period as an excuse
This just isn’t fair. Yes, there are times when your period is getting in the way of certain things but there are some girls out there who fake that their period is an issue. They eventually do it to get out of sex or do anything they don’t want to do.
But a guy can’t use anything even remotely similar. Even if they have a headache, their lady still expects them to do what they want.
#4 She can hang out with a lot of guys but possibly he can’t do the same with girls
This is one of the major double standards in relationships that’s just not equitable. Girls can have tons of men friends and spend all the time they want with them but when their boyfriend wants to grab lunch with a couple of his girlfriends, it’s like the end of the relationship.
#5 Sex being used as a weapon
Once again, the girl has all the power here and it’s just not fair. You should never try to use sex as a weapon in the first place and when the girl is the only one who can do this, it’s a double standard.
It is ridiculous because the guy will end up building up resentment. Sex shouldn’t be a “reward” for his conduct. It should be a fun, intimate act between the both of you.
#6 Not having sex when you don’t want to
Most women get away with this all too often. And no, they shouldn’t have to have sex if they don’t want to but what about when the roles are reversed? The guy may not want to get down but if they say so, they’re suddenly the bad guy.
#7 Exposing insecurities
Girls do this way too often with their men just having to sit back and take it. She’ll make a joke with his friends about something he’s insecure about and will have to just “get over it.”
But if he were to do the same thing and expose one of her insecurities, it could lead to the end of their long-lasting relationship. That’s not fair and it’s not right. Both of you should keep those private, important details to yourselves.
#8 Jealous behaviour
We can see memes all over the Internet depicting this double standard. It’ll be a funny picture of women doing something crazy and talking about being a crazy jealous girl.
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But when you put a man in that image, it would be shocking and horrible. Men aren’t allowed to be jealous in a relationship because it makes them seem possessive. That’s what this double standard means. But when the girl is, it’s just supposed to be funny and acceptable.
#9 Being demanding and controlling
For some reason, it’s become okay for a girl to tell men what they can and can’t do but if a man does that, he’s left at the curb. Men aren’t supposed to be controlling, and if they are, the girls leave.
But if the woman tells him what to do, he’d better do it… or else. That’s not a way how a healthy relationship functions. You both respect each other to comply if it’s a necessary request.
#10 Having someone else buy you drinks
It is supposed to be okay for women, and if the man has a girl buy him a drink, it’s the end of the world. I’ve never really understood this one. You shouldn’t welcome a drink offer from someone if you’re in a relationship because you’re sending the wrong message.
Any double standards in relationships are not a good thing. If we can spot them and do our best to make sure they’re nonexistent in our relationship, we’ll prolong our relationship.